Three months ago I was in a car wreck on my way to work; I wasn't hurt but my car was. The guy who hit me was from New Jersey on business in a rental. We didn't involve the police. We filled out all of the paper work and we both went on with our day. My spirit told me I could trust him. In the midst of that crazy moment, I didn't even get his contact information so I was fully relying on him to do the right thing. I could have chosen to be angry with him when it happened but God quickly reminded me that it ruined his morning too. He had to miss the meeting that he came here for, which could've been really important. He was equally embarrassed and frustrated. No one wants to be in a car accident. His morning was just as ruined as mine was. I wasn't angry. I trusted God to immediately take care of it. (Think, "Like a good neighbor, Jesus is there") To say this, isn't' to boast about me, but to point out that God honors our obedient choices. They may seem like they don't make a difference in the moment, but I assure you they do matter to Him.
But when I didn't hear from him for a few days, my husband did start to question my judgment call that I had made that morning. Through enormous effort by my P.I.-wanna be husband, he got a hold of the man and we began to start sorting things out. It was not easy. We were passed from company to company, endless phone calls and emails, weeks went by. No one was helpful or seemingly concerned with our situation. I had made a decision to trust God in this entire situation even when I didn't want to, even when I couldn't hear Him or see Him moving.
Yesterday I got my car back from the body shop, completely fixed at no financial cost to me. Tears welled up inside of me at the sight of it which sounds so silly but it wasn't about my car being that special or important. It was about God showing up for me, teaching me to trust Him. Not because something magical happened at the end of that three months but because He did something magical in me. I've been practicing trusting God, and yes practice makes perfect even when learning to trust and obey the creator of the universe. Every time something didn't work out or happen on a given day, I'd say, God I trust you. A thousand times I must have said it, thought it, wrote it down. And I had to work. None of the insurance companies or agents wanted to worry about my car. Paperwork was filed wrong. Phone calls weren't returned. Eventually though, the dent in my car was repaired and so were the doubts in my mind. God comes through, every time. Trusting Him isn't about a glorious answer to every prayer I pray and most times it isn't quick. That's why we're called to persevere, so that we'll be mature, not lacking anything.
This car isn't special. It's four years old, it has gum stuck to one of the floor mats, legos in many crevices, a nerf gun always on board, red baseball dirt lightly dusting the backseat and probably spills and crumbs I'll never get completely out. It also has some of our favorite movies we've laughed at together, my five year old's finger prints on the back window, my favorite pencils and hair ties in the front console, my TCU alumini tag on the back reminding me how hard I worked for that. So many great memories and trips. It daily transports my life's most valuable treasures.
God wants our whole heart. That's it. We aren't that special by the world's standards. Most of us anyways. But we are to Him. And when he sees us, I believe His eyes well with loving tears. He can't wait to show us great things, beyond what we can ask or imagine, share amazing love with us in quiet intimate moments, and go on wild adventures with us. That's what happens when we trust Him.
Jesus, help me trust you more! So that I never miss a single step for it could be the best one yet.
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