Choose Love

I made several commitments to the Lord for 2016 of things I am going to work on. One of them was loving my husband better. Now talk about your New Year's resolutions that'll never make it, this has to be at the top of the list. I've been married over ten years and I'll tell you, choosing to love your spouse everyday is hard, practically impossible, especially without God, and if I'm just being honest, some days I flat out just don't want to. So to kick myself into gear, I watched War Room. Beware, if you haven't seen it, you will be called out. If not by the Holy Spirit or Priscilla Shirer, then for sure your hubby, if he's watching too. Then I got serious about adding scripture to my "war room" and wrote out a specific prayer for Michael along with a few happy pictures of us. I even filled up my desk at work, that's how much spurring I need currently. Not everyday I feel the effectiveness of my prayers but I give it to God anyways.
Then, last night, I had a dream. Michael was sleeping in bed and his mother came over. She was yelling at him, telling him all the things he had done wrong, how he had hurt her and finally told him, "and this is why you don't deserve to be a father." I looked at Michael waiting for him to react harshly, out of anger, which would be more typical in real life but he didn't. He began weeping. At that moment something in me stirred. I pointed to the door and told her to get out. I said, "You don't get to say that to him, you broke him, you made him this way and now you're done. Get out!" All the while I'm backing her towards the door, first out of the bedroom then all the way to the front door.   Before she stepped out of the house, I finally told her, "You were supposed to choose love but you chose hate instead. You were supposed to choose love, choose love!"
I woke up thinking about brokenness. The dream is not about my mother-in-law, not even a little. It was God giving me a glimpse of Michael's hurt, his pain that he carries when I wonder why he is the way he is. He's broken, we all are. But, thank you Jesus, when we choose love like he did for us on that cross, we get victory over the enemy. We need people in our lives that choose love when we can't and help us kick that enemy right out of our homes, and our hearts. There just isn't room for Satan's lies and Christ's love. His love is far too wide, and long, and high and deep.
I choose to love Michael because God loves Michael. Because Jesus died for him too. I can't be selfish with that abundant, selfless sin-bearing love. I have to give it away. Pressed down, shaken together to make room for more, running over, poured into the laps of every needy sinner, especially mine. I ask God to help me see Michael the way He does and He did that for me in my dream. Thankfully, I was able to back that hate right out of our lives. God showed me that when my confidence is in Him, when I give Him all the broken pieces, it's then that I can tap into Christ's love and boldly fight for my marriage, my family, my thoughts and dreams. So I hope dreams come true. They do when they're God's dreams for us. I pray I choose love when I'm awake as much as I did asleep.